Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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