I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
