Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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