yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
