I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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