Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
