Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
