Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
