No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
