I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
