Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
