I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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