flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
