Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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