There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
