the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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