i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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