Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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