How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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