Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
