I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
