you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
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