I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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