Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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