Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Randomize
