speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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