capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
