I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
