So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
