she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize