Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
