So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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