My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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