I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
