i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
