I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
