I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize