So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
