I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
