Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
