My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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