just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize