i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
