I want to have your abortion
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
