the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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