Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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