Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
