I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
