i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Do vagina's smell?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
