evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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