We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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