i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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