did you get engaged???
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
