They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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