Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
