This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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