D3 body, D1 cock
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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