Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
