I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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