I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
