Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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