my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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