i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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