there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
