It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
