put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
