Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
