Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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