I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
